A Personal Story From Christy A. Nichols On Narcissism - Blog Post #499 - Self-Growth Thinking From The Field of Mind Mastery Boardroom (MMBR)

Revealing Story from the Department of Mind Mastery Boardroom (MMBR)

Shared from the portal of: Mind Mastery Boardroom

Content Contributor: Christy A. Nichols

Blog Post #499

Keyword: Narcissism

Universal Principle: Law of Freedom

Title of Story: Christy A. Nichols – Daughter of a Narcissistic Father

To: Friend

Re: Experience with a Narcissistic Parent

Date and Time: Tuesday, October 9, 2018 at 6:12 a.m. ⏰

Dear Friend,

With the briefest of conversations, being a daughter of narcissistic father can easily sense one another.

There are secret pains that a daughter of such a father carry with her.

There are certain experiences that certainly qualify as shared experiences.

Daughter of a narcissistic father have a number of unhappy things in common with one another.

In all probability, they are probably still a narcissist to this day.

Yes I AM the daughter of a narcissistic father, and then it stands to reason that you know the behaviors and traits of a narcissistic parent.

I do now! I have prayed, prayed and cried out to God show me some light and understanding about my father knowing a day would come that I would see my father again and that day is Christmas 2016.

I haven’t seen or talked with my father since my mother’s funeral, August 2013.

I had a conversation with a couple of preachers that he’s known forever… Without going into further detail, I choose not to set up the meeting I was going to have with my father before Christmas.

You may not have spotted these things during your formative years.

No, being the youngest (no identity being the blame for all my father’s wrong doings, worthless and never wanted by my father) of four brothers I was the blame for everything.

However, as I’ve learned the various ways in which to define a narcissist, I’ve learned that many of those characteristics could be applied to my father with tragic ease.

No, I wouldn’t learn until my mid 40’s and I wonder no more because I AM really the daughter of a narcissistic father.

Here are a few things you’re going to want to look for. These things can be found in your past or current dealings with your father, and they can certainly be found in examples from your youth, if you’re willing to delve into those memories.

Do You Have A Narcissistic Father? Yes the daughter of narcissistic father can relate to one another in a variety of ways.

I can cite clear examples from their childhood. Huge yes, but I choose not to.

My father is still living (yes) and there’s (no) interacting with him I can probably cite clear examples in the present from others (yes) by what others tell me.

I’m not on the fence as to whether or not I’m the daughter of a narcissistic father here are a few important questions that are worth asking yourself:

Then and now is your father self-centered? Yes, it’s disgusting. Why? Around children if he doesn’t get his way it’s one thing around adults. Always feels like he must be the center of attention? Yes.

Accept people as they are:

Let go of your need to fix them. This kind of acceptance is really forgiveness.

Practices on yourself first but letting yourself make mistakes and be forgiving with yourself.

Was your father particularly vain? Yes while vanity can certainly involve an individual’s physical appearance, this is not the only way in which someone can be vain. There is intellectual vanity, for example. Yes I know.

Was your father known to use people to achieve his goals? – Yes, was it a regular occurrence with your father to throw people aside, after he had finished with them. Yes, he doesn’t have any use for people they are objects/appliances. If you’re broken or good you are discarded still to this day.

Was and still today my father is someone who was not particularly adept at taking criticism from others? Yes, he will except criticism from no one ☝ rage.

How did your father react to those criticisms? With anger, he is always right!

Did he respond with anger? Yes. how much anger? Lots of yelling, better walk away and very afraid.
Did he ever become verbally or even physically abusive? Verbally (different story).

Do you remember your father’s anger as being something that you were truly afraid of and were there things you went out of your way to do, in order to avoid dealing with that anger? Yes, leave if possible.

Was your father unsympathetic towards others? Yes, even people he supposedly cared about? He misses his wife and I miss mom she’s in a much better place now. No more pain and sorrow He cries in self-pity and anger because she left him alone. Harsh true words that’s what I’m told and I know this.

My Mother married 50 yrs to my narcissistic father, I AM DOING THIS for “ME and YOU” BEING a VOICE TO HELP OTHERS–I MISS and LOVE YOU!!

I believe in a lot of ways for the wrong reasons.

Why? Because he continues to be a victim, liar and hypocrite (he’s a Preacher).

I know these traits just go along with narcissist.

I AM a SURVIVOR of many things and not in competition with anyone I hope we all make it and I will THRIVE in LIFE because God has a purpose for all.

I continue taking one day at a time.

Did you ever feel as though your father only gave you emotional and/or physical affection when it was in his best interests to do so? Huge yes, for all the wrong reasons, we don’t have a father daughter relationship.

Was your father someone who constantly maintained unrealistic aspirations? Yes.

Did your father lie, in order to get what he wanted from others? Yes.

When he was caught lying, did he seem to be particularly remorseful about it? No.

Did he ever at any time make a serious effort towards changing any of these behaviors? No, he’s only gotten worse over the years. Especially with his wife and my mother passing away.

The Daughter of A Narcissistic Father:

I AM a daughter of a narcissistic father, then here are a few additional things that you want to keep in mind:

As the daughter of a narcissistic father, you will probably be able to recall a number of instances in which your father criticized you in highly damaging ways. Yes, these ways could have involved your weight, anything else to do with your body, your grades, and more.

Yes indeed, back in school getting my G.E.D. I am thrilled learning the Public vs Christian Education System as this is a very difficult transition for me I know I will succeed as I’ve conquered and overcome many things in life. I decided to return to school for me my father pulled me out of school when I was fifteen all my brothers graduated and he told his daughter I wasn’t worthy of him taking me to school. We had a 30 mile car ride to school. Growing up very religious among other things I wasn’t allowed to participate in the public school system.

You probably have a deep-rooted fear of being left by your current partner, (I’m not single, I’m not taken, God knows my perfect match, I AM me and continue to strive grow) because you do not believe you are someone who is deserving of love and affection. ☝ I know and believe now I AM worthy of loving I just never knew the difference until now. YES, ALL MY LIFE, NARCISSISTIC LOVE incapable of loving (you’re like a broken appliance), NOT UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, I see clearly now than ever before in my life.

One of the primary reasons behind these feelings can involve your long history with your narcissistic father. I NEVER REALIZED. I asked God to help me understand my life it’s critical now (another story).

I’ve been doing good things for a very long time, pray more, I am worthy, dig deeper, more clear path of my life and not take it back and that’s exactly what I did. It was like the flood gates of hell being opened, the more I prayed, the more flooded I got.

You may feel as though nothing you ever do is good enough. –> a soft yes This draws from the feelings of intense inadequacy mentioned above. Even if someone tells you that what you do is good enough, you may not believe them, because you do not have the fundamental tools necessary to accept compliments and gratitude from others.

My intentions and my heart are good.

✨ In Loving Memory,

R.I.P. In Heaven Christy A. Nichols

Loved by those who you inspired dear friend.